How To Deal With A (REALLY) Smelly Guest

photo credit: https://worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhWB4N56iFRokPE8YH

QUESTION FROM: Tommy in NH

“How should I handle a REALLY smelly customer? We have this one guy who smells so bad noone wants to wait on him

It kind of started as a joke but now other guests ask to be moved whenever they sit near him. Its more than unpleasant. VERY strong smell of urine

Don’t want to ask them to leave and cause a scene but also don’t want the place to smell bad or no one to ever want to sit in the same chair as this guy ever again. It does smell even after he leaves.”

HH ANSWER:

This is one of those questions that a lot of owners and operators struggle with. In fact, I’ve asked quite a few managers this question in training sessions…and several GM candidates during interviews.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of ways to handle a situation like this. And I’ve heard quite a few:

The most common strategies seem to be either a.) deferring to HR - if you have an HR department b.) citing a heath code regulation or some safety concern or c.) treating the offending party as a loud guest using profanity and letting them know they are offending / disturbing the other guests and asking them politely “clean up their act” or leave.

Some managers believe that the best policy is writing a note that says something like “As a paying customer, I had to sit behind you and it was very unpleasant / difficult for me to enjoy my meal because of your body odor. I’m not sure if you are aware that it is so overwhelming. I’m not trying to be unkind, I just thought you would want to know so you might avoid an embarrassment the next time you go out to dine in public.” sealed in an envelope and then delivered along with an explanation that another guest, who has since left, asked you to deliver it.

You could be more direct; approach them (or their companion / guardian) and explain “This is the second or third time I’ve been in the restaurant when you have been in to dine with us and there’ve been several guests both times who’ve complained about the smell…”

You can try playing dumb with an approach like: “I’m not sure but I think you may have stepped in something or sat in something either here or outside the restaurant…Hopefully they'll get the hint and either leave and never come back or they will return smelling fresh as daisies.”

‘I’ve had more than a few folks (mostly in the UK) explain the fact that because some countries haven't adopted modern (western as well as NE Asian) hygiene habits like the use of deodorant or more specifically anti-perspirant, it can not only be an awkward issue to deal with, but one that might require some cultural sensitivity. Among those operators, a “middle ground” / more apologetic approach along the lines of: “I’m not trying to embarrass you, but you really need to adhere to a higher standard of hygiene to dine here.” seems to be fairly popular…along with the adoption of a dress code or policy regarding hygiene (similar to the one you should have in place for employees) that you can then point to in order to defend your position / decision not to serve them is a good idea.

While I appreciate a more gentle approach and the mindset or understanding that all things are temporary (or that “stinky money spends just as good as any other kind”); trying to seat other guests away from one (or several) who smell extremely bad isn’t a viable option for anyone managing a popular, small or crowded restaurant.

Solutions like these are often “bandaids” on a deeper wound. In fact, those who employ such a tactic are often the same operators who eventually ask me how I feel about 86ing bathrooms for customers or how I would suggest going about restricting access to restrooms for guests who either make a mess of them or end up occupying them to bathe…while paying customers cross their legs or worse….leave and don’t return.

At the end of the day, I firmly believe that the best policy is often the most difficult for many (especially those of us who are more emotionally co-dependent than others) and thus the reason it’s often the one solution that people tend to avoid the most: an open and honest discussion with the individual. Still uncomfortable with how to broach the subject? Consider the following words my wife also employs in her own line of work:

“I would like to have an honest but difficult discussion with you.”

A few owners have proudly declared their job, as an owner, is to protect their staff and their guests… and “if someone is negatively affecting other guests with their BO, then they’re outta here”.

The only problem with these approaches is that they overlook the fact that this may be a person who needs to be taken care of… not gotten rid of.

Firstly, we’re in the hospitality business which means we treat guests in our restaurants as we would guests in our home. While the food and atmosphere are incredibly important; how we treat people and make them feel is most important.

Secondly, it’s important to understand that the odor could be tied to something: medical, hormonal, weight or stress related reasons so your approach and reason for addressing this individual should reflect that. 

It’s for these two reasons that I believe very strongly in the value of employing a gentle and direct approach as you might with any other delicate matter. When dealing with issues that can be sensitive to others, mitigating the other person’s embarrassment can go a long way to them actually hearing you and accepting your perception. It’s a good rule of thumb to praise in public and criticize in private. Any “corrective action” - whether with an employee or a guest - should be done in private with sensitivity and directness. No one wants to be embarrassed or feel ashamed in front of others let alone in front of you.

Of course it would be best to address this issue out of sight and earshot of other guests and prior to the guest being seated but…if you can’t get the guest alone, ask to speak with them in private or inform them that there is a phone call for them and that the caller didn’t identify themselves but described them by what they were wearing…If you can get their name ahead of time that’s even better.

While the specific combination of sensitive and direct  will vary based on your own personality and relationship with the individual - it would be helpful to begin the conversation by letting them know that you have to have an uncomfortable conversation with them, but want them to know that it is coming from a place of genuine concern and just want to make sure they’re ok…and give them a golden bridge on which to retreat - i.e., reduce resistance and minimize embarrassment by suggesting a reason for the smell other than “their physical person”. For example… You could make it about their clothes and say something along the lines of “I’m noticing a very unpleasant odor when standing next to you - did you mistakenly put on a dirty shirt today?” or …”think you might need a stronger detergent.” (if breath is the issue- think along the lines of “ Whoa! I think something you’ve eaten has disagreed with you - would you like a mint?)

I’ve found that a short anecdote about my own laundry screw-ups has helped lesson the tension a few times - and was helpful to not only fix the odor problem, but also once helped someone learned the importance of expediting laundry cycles because it really was the fact that their clothes were so musty/mildew smelling.

I simply told them about the time I left my laundy in the washer over the weekend before drying it on a Monday and totally missed the funky smell until  it was too late and I was already on my way to work. 

They may decline and say “Thanks anyway” and walk away - but at least you’ve addressed the situation and can be sure they’re now aware that it’s a problem for others.

If they say “F#@k the rest of the people around me! then you’re justified in asking them to leave based on their stated disregard and/or inappropriate language …but let them know that if they’d like to stay, you have a Personal Care Kit that you keep on hand for travelers who miss a flight or have lost their luggage, guests who get something spilled on them or members of staff who have an emergency.

Of course this requires a small investment of approx $40-50 per kit, the ROI in treating someone like a fellow human being who might not often receive such treatment…or helping a family who is stranded in town for the night due to a cancelled flight feel a little more comfortable, is immeasurable.

You can call the kit anything you like to make it seem more unrelated to homelessness, disability or an unsanitary lifestyle… like “Traveler Kit” or “Hotel Kit”.

The following is a list of Traveler Kits I’ve put together for clients over the years (generally 4 per establishment - stored in the manager’s office somewhere amidst rolls of rubber banded t-shirts).

You can make your own Personal Care Kit with the following items and a branded string bag or zippered reusable shopping bag style bag

Travel Size Deodorant
Adult Undergarment / Diaper
2 Disposable Linettees/towelettes
Cottenelle Wipes
2 Panty Liners
Dollar-store Washcloth
Small Tube or Bar of Soap
Restaurant Branded shirt
or Plain Black Hanes XL Undershirt (avail at most craft stores)
Toothbrush
Travel Size Toothpaste (both free from a local dentist)
Travel Size Dry Shampoo
Pair of Blue or Black Athletic Socks
Gallon Size Ziplock bag
Branded Zippered Tote or String Bag (free samples from bag supplier)

If the guest is a repeat guest you can size them up and throw a pair of sweatpants from Target or Walmart or a local shop in the bag as well.

Remember: These are people who may need and desperately want or appreciate more from you but if you believe they pose a real danger, threaten your business are unresponsive or belligerent- you should ask them to leave and not return.

Genuine hospitality is mass personalization which means every guest and every situation involves nuance. The safest and kindest way to handle any situation is to have an experienced professional see each guest as an individual and read both verbal and non-verbal cues as to which approach might be the safest and most appropriate. Sometimes that means notifying the authorities before even approaching someone. Sometimes that means restoring dignity when too much has been lost. And sometimes it means preventing the fire before it starts with firm and empathetic action.

I can’t help but think that with the simplest twist of fate, freak accident, different split-second decision or single unfortunate circumstance - I could be in the same position of relying on the kindness and humanity of another to get through the day or find a reason to smile.

If you like the idea of a Personal Care Kit for emergencies like this one or any unimaginable one, there are lots of great starter-kits available online. This one was the first one that popped up when I did a quick search and it’s only about $17

On Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Convenience-Kits-Premium-Necessities-Featuring/dp/B00INVCHRC/ref=asc_df_B00INVCHRC/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312159792153&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17763063680661677174&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9006985&hvtargid=pla-569458224682&psc=1

Let me know what you decide to do. I’d appreciate knowing.

Regards,

Josh Sapienza

HOSPITALITYHELPLINE.COM & PAIRE APPETIT

UbiquityAdvisors.com & Paire.io: The Dating App For Your Taste Buds

PS/UPDATE
An interesting point one member of my Owners, Operators & Managers fb group recently mentioned:

“I floated this by an attorney who comes in... if body odor is a direct result of an ADA issue and they can prove a reasonable accommodation wasn’t made available at the time, they may “have a case" not that they are guaranteed to win, but at what cost will you win a case where you’ve been labeled as the restaurant that doesn’t like to serve the physically disabled?…They have to prove damages as a result, so their being embarrassed in front of other patrons can be quite compelling to a sympathetic jury.”